Last night on Instagram Stories, I shed a little light on us.. Olivia + Matt and our relationship. A tough subject to talk about, but thought I’d share it with my readers because it’s something that most of us never talk about. Last week, I was browsing through Instagram and I kept seeing these endlessly happy couples over and over again. I wondered, were we the only ones who disagreed, bickered and got mad at each other? Because all of these couples look really happy all the time and I never see them disagreeing.
I’m a practical person, so I knew we weren’t, but it was all that I saw depicted on social media.
A little background
Matt and I met in college. We had a long distance relationship for two years and then I moved to San Francisco to live with him. From there we moved to New York and eventually got engaged in 2013.
Meanwhile, Matt and I were both working on our careers. Matt at LinkedIn and me at Oracle. We were able to travel, go out to eat and have quality time away from one another too. In March of 2016, I left my corporate job to pursue blogging full-time and that summer Matt joined me. It was a fun year, especially with me being pregnant. We got to spend a lot of time with one another, but as you can imagine, it’s wasn’t always sunshine and sugar plum fairies. We had gone from one extreme to another.
We both left our successful careers to start a small business. Our days went from working apart all day to working within five feet of each other, running a business, and raising Sebastian. It can wear on you, even for a couple who has endless love for each other. As much as we love being together, this year we forgot just how valuable it is to have “me time” and breaks from each other throughout the week. We all need space from time to time. It’s healthy.
The few times we’d leave each other throughout the year, we’d both count down the days till we were back under the same roof. I remember one night when Matt and Sebastian were in St. Louis, we were on the phone for almost an hour talking about our day. I miss that. It was nice to flirt and catch up with one another. This year, we both got caught up with raising Sebastian and running a business, that we forgot about ourselves.
Family is important, but so is your free time. You need time away. Time to think clearly. Time to miss your family. You even need time to miss your job. Distance truly does make the heart grow fonder. This year we were heads down, work, work, work and we forgot to have a little fun along the way.
So yes, our relationship is not perfect. “Where did you put my socks” can sometimes turn into an argument, but over the years we’ve learned to get over things really quickly. Looking back on 2017, I think we’ve both learned that we need more headspace, figuratively and literally. We’ve both been taking some time away to clear our minds and enter a situation with a calmer and cooler head. We’re on week two and things have been really great and less hectic.
A little news that I was going to wait to share in January, but Sebastian starts daycare in January. We’re excited and sad at the same time. Matt said he’s going to pick him up at 10 am after dropping him off at 9:30 am. Haha. It’s going to be tough, but Sebastian is going to have a blast. He loves people. It’s also going to give us more time to create some really cool content for you all and start working on some of our other business ventures.
Someone wrote and asked if we were “rocky”. No, rocky is not the word. I’d say that we’ve pushed each other to the edge a few times. We’ve been together for over 13 years so we know exactly what to say to make the other person upset. It’s really strange sharing this kind of stuff, but I thought I’d take the pressure of that “perfect relationship” off of other moms, entrepreneurs or just people, in general, might be experiencing something similar.
It’s totally normal to have bad days, weeks and even years in your relationships. I think it’s important to figure out a way to make it better. Matt and I are both really practical and when removed from difficult situations we can both say, “yea, this is so silly to be upset right now.” When you are in the heat of the moment it can be difficult to be rational but we are both committed to just relax and move on. There is simply not enough time to spend upset when we have so much to be happy about.