Today is our Anniversary!! Matt and I are celebrating our 3rd year of marriage and what a year it has been. Amazing year! These last six months with Sebastian have been so much fun and tough at the same time. We have both always wanted to be parents and knew that once we got firmly settled in New York we would try and have a child. Heck, we had been adding dependents ever since we got married. First it was Batman, then Pfeiffer and in December, we welcomed Sebastian into our world. It’s a full house!
When we had Sebastian, we really didn’t know what to expect. You read stuff, you hear stuff and everyone is quick to tell you what it will be like. I was actually shocked to hear how negative some people were when describing what life is like with children. They would describe things as pre-baby and post-baby as if your entire world just flips on its head. Our parents would do anything for us, so it was difficult for us to understand when others would have such bad things to say about being parents. We both shook it off and promised each other not to ever have that attitude as parents.
Quality times, or lack there of…
Again, we’ve been adding dependents to our crew since 2014, so we rarely have time alone. When others offer to watch Sebastian, even for a few hours, we typically take our friends and family up on the offer. It’s nice to sneak away together and enjoy each other’s company. One thing I did notice when we go off together, we fall back into our “dating” days. It feels fresh and exciting. We joke, take about current events, gossips and our dreams.
Last week when we went to a wedding in Cape Cod, it was so fun on our 8 hours road trip. We talked about things we haven’t talked about for years. Naturally, I told him how to drive the entire way there and he told me, “I know how to drive.” That will probably never change. At the wedding we reminisced about our wedding and stayed out late with the wedding party. It was an amazing reminder why we started this journey together. We missed Sebastian, but we really enjoyed it just being the two of us for a couple days- it was much needed.
We’re both so guilty of overreacting. We rarely get 6+ hours of sleep and oftentimes we’re tired and typically hungry, so there are times when we’re on edge. The best person to take it out on, yep, each other. Now, with that being said, we’ve both getting better about moving on past arguments. But trust me, it’s taken yeeeeeaaaaaaarssss to get to this point. I’m the type of person who holds on to something for days. I just don’t have the energy to be mad for days upon days anymore. It’s funny, because when you point out what you’re arguing about, like “put the baby camera this way”, it makes getting over arguments a lot easier. Just a waste of energy.
Whole new appreciation for each other
Matt is a fantastic dad and husband, which probably goes without saying. But seeing him become this incredible father to our son, made me love him even more. Much more. It’s like a new compartment of my heart was filled – a compartment that I didn’t even know existed. When I first brought Sebastian home, Matt helped me with everything. The good, bad and ugly of post-pregnancy. Phew. Just from that point, I had a whole new appreciation for him. He’d always remind me that it’s normal and it’s a part of the deal.
No more downtime
You know that time you come home from work and take a few minutes to collect your thoughts, alone? Well, that no longer exists or at least on a regular basis. We’re always on the go. We’re consistently busy with the business/blog, Sebastian, the animals, friends, running errands. It never stops. Never. One of my biggest challenges right now is finding time to sit down and have dinner together every night. There were a few weeks that I felt like that. I had to point it out and re-adjust our priorities. It’s really really easy to get carried away with other obligations and forget about each other.
We have a new bond
I once asked a friend who has three young boys, “Are you and your wife closer now that you have kiddos?” He simply said, “Of course! It’s us against them.” Now that I’m a mom, I know what he meant. It’s true. Matt and I have to stick together throughout this journey. We don’t always agree with each other on certain things, like the right way to put on a diaper, but that doesn’t matter. We have a beautiful road we are on…TOGETHER.